The Balancing Act Of Life

I am terrible at balance. I’ve mentioned this in previous posts, but I am an all-or-nothing person. Balance is the literal opposite of my nature. Unfortunately, balance is also extremely important since I hope to have a calmer life in the future. It seems like no matter how hard I try, balance eludes me. The cycle I’m stuck in is striving for balance so I take a step back and slow down, then things pile up so I get overwhelmed, then I work in overdrive to dig myself out of the hole, and then I’m exhausted and start the whole process over again. It feels like there aren’t enough hours in the day to manage the must-dos, should-dos, and want-to-dos. The question I’m always asking myself is if there isn’t enough time to do it all, how do I decide what to let go of?

I’ve spent most of my life in denial of the fact that there isn’t enough time to do it all (at least not if you want to sleep). I’m just now starting to come to terms with that fact. My to-do list is too long, and I have way too many wants to fit it all in. To make up for this, I tend to spend all my time knocking out to-do list items and then am frustrated with myself when all my exhausted brain wants to do is veg out on the couch and watch tv. I burn myself out daily and then wonder why I don’t want to go for a run or practice piano. The reality I struggle to grasp is that if I spent more time each day doing the things I want to do and less time on to-do list tasks (i.e. balance), I’d end up with more energy and time for both.

If you are anything like me, you might be feeling some pushback on this idea. I get it, I don’t like it either, but I do think it’s true. If I think about coming home after work and then having to clean my apartment, work on side projects, do laundry, cook dinner, and by the time I’m done all of that just go to sleep? Yeah, I can see why I end up getting half of that done and then succumbing to the couch for far too long. Instead, if I think about coming home after work and doing some yoga, reading a little, and then choosing only one or two tasks to complete before I can spend the rest of the evening relaxing? I feel calmer just thinking about it. Getting only one or two things done every day sounds like I’d be getting nothing done and makes me fearful that I’ll fall behind and get overwhelmed, but I think that’s a skewed perspective. What’s more worth it, getting a lot done and being miserable, or getting less done but being happy and finding a better balance? Let me know what you think in the comments, but I know my answer.