Care Less
I need to care less. I know that sounds absurd, but the saying “too much of a good thing can be a bad thing” comes to mind. I care so much about every little thing that it’s beginning to take a toll. Caring at the level I do is starting to feel like a character flaw. It’s affecting how enjoyable I find life because I’m always worrying about even the tiniest things. From panic to catastrophizing, caring too much has an obvious dark side. I love my caring nature, but I think I might go completely insane if I don’t find a way to relax and care less.
The idea of caring less feels so freeing. I imagine it would feel like turning the dial down on life and would make life calmer, quieter, and lighter. The immense pressure of taking life too seriously is crushing me quickly, and I know I can’t be happy while feeling this way. I wonder what it would be like to take problems in stride and not spend all my energy obsessing over them until they’re solved. How much of my anxiety and depression is coming from caring too much? More importantly, how do I reprogram my brain to care less?
I have a theory on how to do this that I plan to try. The first thing I need to do is understand why I care so deeply. Luckily, I do have an answer for this. I care deeply because I truly believe everything is important. It’s ridiculous because that's not the case, but that's how I feel. I need to remind myself that some things don’t matter. Awkward interactions with strangers, making small mistakes, and running late every once in a while are all examples of things that don’t matter that eat me up inside because I care way too much. That's the problem I need to solve.
Next is the action I plan to take to start rewiring my brain. Every time I start to feel that crushing feeling of caring too much about something I know is insignificant, I’ll ask myself, “What would it feel like if I was confident this didn’t matter?” and sit with that question. I’ll pretend to be someone who doesn’t care about minor things and imagine feeling what they’d feel. I’m hoping that’s enough to calm my nervous system down so I can be rational and logical and see things more clearly.
Over time, I’m hopeful my brain will take the hint and I won’t need such an elaborate meditation process to care less because it’ll happen naturally. Slowly but surely, I’ll train my brain to recognize the difference between things that are important and things that don’t matter in the grand scheme of life. How do you feel about this concept? Do you relate to caring too much? Better yet, if you are great at distinguishing the important from the not, do you have any advice for us over-carers?