The Not-So-Secret Key To Happiness

I’ve spent most of my life chasing happiness. Whether I was feeling somewhat okay or in the depths of depression, resilient happiness was my life mission. I say resilient happiness because I did have moments of happiness (as I hope we all do). Feeling unhappy was rarely a constant, but my moments of happiness seemed rare and always felt fleeting. I wanted to find happiness that would stick around, happiness I could rely on. I’d listen to podcasts, read books, and scour the internet, searching for the secret key I couldn't find myself. I don’t think it will surprise any of you that those searches always came up empty. Even though I had heard the key to happiness many times before, I always glossed over it. I didn’t think it could be that simple. There had to be something else, something I was missing and desperately needed to find.

I was so wrong. For anyone still unsure of this not-so-secret magical key I’m referring to, it’s gratitude. There are plenty of definitions of gratitude, but for this post, I’m defining gratitude as the state of being actively thankful. I believe living a life of constant gratitude is the only way to achieve resilient happiness. I challenge anyone to be truly unhappy when appreciating what they have. My previous perspective was so incredibly backward. I kept feeling like there was something I was missing, something out there I needed to find to make myself happy. If I had spent even a quarter of that time looking inward, I would have found the glaring error in my thought process. Resilient happiness has to be something in my control.

I don’t have control of the outside world. I can’t control what happens to me each day, I can’t control how people treat me, and I can’t even control how I feel about all of these factors most of the time. What can I control? My perspective. I can choose to, on what feels like a terrible day, be grateful that most days are better. I can choose to be grateful for all that I have and all that I will have and have had. I can always choose to be grateful. A fun side effect of this change in perspective is I’ve become way better at acknowledging the progress I’ve made because I’m constantly reminding myself to be grateful.

If you still aren’t convinced, think of a time when you remember being extremely happy. Try to think of a moment when there wasn’t a clear reason for your happiness, no achievement, no success, just a genuine moment of simple happiness. If you analyze why you were happy in that moment, gratitude for what you were experiencing, the people you were with, or some other factor would likely at least make the list. Over the next few weeks, I challenge you to take note of your happiest moments and ask yourself why you are feeling happy. Take it a step further and practice gratitude whenever you are feeling down. Leave a comment afterward, I’d love to hear how it went!