I’m A “Why?” Person

I am what I would call a “why” person. What that means is I am the kind of person that needs to know the “why” of everything. The amount of anxiety and obsession I fall into when I don’t know why something is happening, why I’ve been asked to do a certain task, or quite literally anything else is a level that is truly unhealthy. I try to work on lessening how much this affects me, but I don’t think I will ever be able to rid myself of this trait entirely. I’m not sure exactly where it comes from, though I have a feeling it’s likely related to spending so much of my life stuck in fight-or-flight mode. I think it has to be a protective instinct that my mind takes a little too far.

There are pros and cons to this particular trait of mine. On the upside, searching for the “why” has led me to profound realizations about myself and others in my life. Needing to know the “why” means I am always putting myself in others’ shoes and trying to understand them better. That being said, I’ve learned the hard way that asking someone why is always better than making an assumption. Nevertheless, having the instinct to try to see things from another person’s perspective has been a huge asset throughout my life.

However, there is a massive downside to being a “why” person. As I mentioned, one of the positives of being a “why” person is that it can help me discover more about myself. The unfortunate part of this is it’s a two-sided coin. On one side, my compulsion to understand the “why” can bring me deep self-analysis that results in clarity and healing. On the other side, the obsession with understanding the “why” can leave me frozen in the past, hopelessly stuck looking for answers I will never get. The reality of life is sometimes there isn’t a “why.” Even if there is, I have learned that knowing it doesn’t always serve me. Sometimes knowing why can be more harmful than helpful.

My takeaway from all of this is that I need to try my best to be a little more selective with my pursuit of the “why.” I don’t want to miss out on the knowledge this trait can bring me, but I know that I take it too far. Bad things happen. There isn’t always a “why” that can make it all make sense and bring me peace. I think we’d all agree that we wish that were the case, but it just isn’t. I’m tired of being so stuck in my past because I can’t figure out why some of the things that happened to me happened. I know I need to let it go and free myself. Can you relate to being a “why” person? If not, do you have a trait that functions as both your superpower and your kryptonite? I’d love to hear all about it (and confirm that I’m not alone in this)!