How Bad Do You Want It?
How bad do you want the things you say you want? What are you willing to sacrifice to get them? I have so many wants, yet I’ve spent an impressively small amount of time considering how badly I want them and what I am willing, or more importantly, am not willing to do to get or achieve them. I’ve written a lot lately about not having enough time in the day to get everything done. With that, knowing how badly I want something majorly comes into play when deciding how to spend my time. Do I want to learn how to play piano badly enough to spend time practicing? Do I want to achieve my fitness goals badly enough to go to the gym even when I’m exhausted from work? Knowing the answers to these questions is a must if I’m ever going to figure out what is worth my time and energy.
If I want something badly enough that I’m willing to deal with the negative side, then it’s worth my time. Mark Manson talks about this concept of “choosing your suffering” in his book The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck. I included the book in my June 2023 recommendations on the Library page, and I can’t recommend it enough. The concept is that instead of choosing what you want based on the positives, choose what you want based on the negatives. For example, if I want to run a marathon, I shouldn’t decide to do it based on loving the thought of bragging that I’ve completed a marathon. Instead, I should do it if I can handle the grueling running regimen for months and months leading up to the marathon and the inevitable suffering that comes with it. In short, I need to choose that suffering.
Choosing goals and aspirations based on the suffering they will cause sounds quite negative, but I believe it gives me the best chance of achieving them. I could spend the rest of my life choosing my next goal based on the best-case scenario, but what do I do when the best-case scenario inevitably doesn’t pan out? I have to prepare for things to go wrong, and setting realistic expectations is the best way. If you’re skeptical, I understand. My challenge to you is this. Think of the achievement you are most proud of. When you think about the process, what was the suffering? Were you prepared for that suffering? If not, would you have had a smoother path toward achieving this goal if you had been prepared? I don’t necessarily expect this to be true of every goal for everyone, but nothing is ever achieved without hard work and at least a little suffering. Why not go into it with full awareness instead of blind? To me, the only difference is how bumpy of a ride I go on and my chances of reaching my destination.